Conversational Maxims (or How to Have Really Awkward Conversations)

 My husband, Tyson, the English major has adopted a kind of social experiment from one of his class lectures.  It is a very awkward yet hilarious way of responding to people in a manner they are not expecting. There are unspoken rules of conversation called the conversational or Gricean maxims.  I am sure you’ve all had exchanges at one point in your life that have just been completely uncomfortable (I think I have them daily when I ride the light rail…) But those conversations you’ve had were probably because these rules of speech were broken.  Tyson’s favorite victims are Wal-mart cashiers.  Anyways, the conversational maxims are:

1)      The maxim of quantity- giving more information than anticipating. For example, one person may ask something like, “Hey, how’s it goin?” And the expected response would be an equally simple answer like, “It’s going great. How are you?” To break this maxim, one would say something like, “Well, I am doing ok. I woke up early this morning and I was just really tired but I couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up and played on the internet for a little while. I saw a couple good youtube videos and some that were just ok.  I am really not much of a morning person.  When I was little my mom told me I was a morning person, but that all changed when I hit puberty…” 

2)      The maxim of revelance- giving totally random answers.  For example, “How are you doing today, sir? Did you find everything ok?” “I am going to get a new hamster. A brown and white one that doesn’t bite…”

3)      The maxim of manner- a clear, unambiguous, brief and orderly response.  Example, “Will you take out the trash?” “Well, it is probable that I would take out the trash more often if someone weren't flagrantly wasteful, such that the majority of trash weren't always coming from that person.”

4)      The maxim of quality- people naturally assume that you are going to tell them the truth.  For example, when people enquire after your name, you usually don’t tell them, “Jose Luis” if your name is Tyson Adams.  Also, you wouldn’t give your new home teachers in the ward you just moved into the run around that you’re inactive and afraid to go to church because of the Russian Mafia or something equally ridiculous…

If you know Tyson, I am sure you can picture him breaking all these maxims on purpose just to make people squirm and having a ball with it! Don’t worry though, he usually tells them he is kidding before too long. So whether I am playing along with him or rolling my eyes the whole time, going to Wal-mart is always an adventure with Tyson.

 

My Nursing Baby

I have had a lot of people ask me how nursing school was pregnant and with a newborn.  And I usually just say, “It was hard…” because if I explained any further, as Tyson would put it, I would be breaking one of the 5 conversational maxims (Which is: giving more information than people would want to hear by their simple question [for more on the other maxims, I will do another post at the bottom or something…) But I have more to say than it just being hard!  It was the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life.

I found out I was pregnant the same month I found out I was accepted into ASU’s nursing program.  Getting into the program was a feat all in itself because I spent the last 2 years trying to finish up all the prerequisite courses and ASU’s program is very competitive. 

Going to school and being PG. I was four months when I started nursing school in August.  It was great because I was past the really sick stage and I wasn’t huge and totally uncomfortable.  I felt really good.  The only thing that was kind of hard was the clinicals in the nursing home and having to lift a bunch of old people.

The BIRTH story

As much as I tried to go into labor before school started, it unfortunately was not meant to be.  I walked and curb-walked, and jogged and tried to talk my doctor into inducing me two weeks early but no, I started the Spring semester 9 months pregnant.  It was awful to have people staring at you, knowing you look like you’re going to explode, and getting comments like, “Wow, you haven’t had him yet…” and “What are you doing here, shouldn’t you be in the hospital?”

I had a doctor’s appointment on Thursday, January 20^th. I was so excited because I thought I might be at least a little bit dilated this time… but nope.  I was 0% effaced and 0% dilated.  I was so discouraged! The doctor even had me go in for an ultrasound to see if anything was wrong.  Luckily nothing was wrong; Traejan was just happily floating around in the womb.  It was actually neat to see him so developed and see what he was doing in there.  Funny how the little things were so incredible to me- Traejan opening and closing his mouth was really exciting!

I started having really hard contractions Friday, the 21^st of January (right after my first test of the semester). And went into the hospital that evening around 5 or 6 PM. 

My whole family (except Jeffrey) came into visit me in the hospital around 11 PM- which was really fun. It was literally a party! And I felt great and social after the epidural.

I started pushing at probably around 2:30 AM. And Traejan Walter Adams came into the world at 2:53 AM 8lbs. 11 oz.  I can’t describe how amazing this event was or how much love I could feel for such a little person.

Right after he was born I was taken into surgery because my broad-shouldered little boy tore my cervix on his way out.  This surgery is a story in and of itself because I was awake and completely upside down while they stitched up my woman parts. Awkward.

A New Mommy

It has always been a top priority of mine to finish my Bachelor’s degree, but being a new mom made me want to quit more than anything.  I felt torn… I couldn’t give 100% to anything and it was really difficult for me. 

I felt my heart breaking when I left this perfect, so dependent, 5 day old baby in the arms of someone else.

SLEEP- I didn’t really get any.  I would try to be in bed by midnight or one after I finished homework, studying and getting ready for the next day.  And then I was up a couple times a night to feed and back at school or clinical as early as 6 AM. I don’t think I ever got more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I was running mostly on adrenaline I think.

There was about 10 out of 60 in our nursing group that failed this last semester.  And I was NOT one of them!! I actually did pretty well.  It wasn’t my best GPA.  My lowest grade for the whole semester was a 84% (which is technically a C by nursing school standards- ah, wretched grading scale!!)

There was always something that gave me the will to keep going (like support from my husband, my mom, my mother-in-law, and my friends in the nursing program- concern and a hug usually did the trick!) …I was pushed to the edge but never over it. 

I was aching physically and emotionally every day but I would just take deep breaths, look at the clock, and coax myself, “I made it through one hour, I can make through the next.” Eventually, my hours turned into days and my days turned into weeks. I slowly made it through each day and accomplished things I didn’t think I could.